


Death Equals Life

by Toyu



Series: Fanfiction Ideas [1]
Category: Elfen Lied, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Dimension Travel, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 06:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13242900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toyu/pseuds/Toyu
Summary: In which Kaneki Ken unknowingly enters the Elfen Lied Universe, and hunts the ‘serial killer’ that has been seen in the news. Not knowing that said killer was a non-ghoul monster, and that the two of them share more in common than they first thought leads the traveler to discover more about himself…





	1. Death Equals a New Life (Mostly Story)

**Author's Note:**

> So, this story has been gathering dust on my computer since 4/10/15 when I created it, or to be more precise, 7/20/2016, which was when I last worked on it other than yesterday for some minor grammar and spelling errors. I have NO clue as to weather I should continue this fragmented story or not, as its literally made of disjointed fragments of the story and a mixture of partially notes (most of which can be found in chapter 2) at the moment.

Kaneki led himself by the hand, walking in a field of crimson-red flowers as if to fill the niches in the memories of his oozing brain fluid. Without a destination the two Kaneki’s – one a white-haired teen, the other a black-haired child – continue to walk on in silence. Then, the white-haired teen turns to look at the one he led along. With a pause he hesitantly asks “Do you… like mom?” With a childish smile, the younger human version of himself replies happily. “Yes…” The younger version of himself releases his grip on the other’s hand and raises that hand so that it touches his chin before continuing to speak. “Mom’s amazing. Always doing her best before nightfall.”

A breeze lightly blows, carrying flecks of dust or dried blood into the air as the black-haired boy closes his eyes and talks on. “When I also become a adult…” He lowers the hand and with a happy grin still plastered on his face he finishes his sentence. “I want to help someone, just like mom does…” Then, his consciousness fades, like an ash-filled sky that gradually obscures the sun.

When Kaneki awakens, most certainly not dead at the hands of the Reaper, he notes three things upon opening his not-holed, not-mackerelled eyes. First, he was wet, cold, and his brain was not melting, the rest of his body seemed perfectly fine, although the state of his clothing spoke of the battle that he had with Arima. The third was the most important, as the sunlight streaming through the human-sized barred sewer pipe in addition to the sound of waves lapping against unseen rocks nearby told him how far away he was from the twentieth ward.

* * *

Notes and story below:

However, if he tries to remember the memories that he knows should exist before the mental visit, and yet after his best clear memory from before, which would be starring from the Tokyo sidewalk at a News Bulletin that says “The 20th ward is under a large scaling net, and has become restricted area. The target is the Café in the 20th Ward.” the memories are jumbled up and fragmented, along with Kaneki receiving a head-splitting migraine and phantom pain simultaneously all across his body. His stomach hurts with the hunger of not eating, and from the few memories that he has of being carried in the water, Kaneki comes to the conclusion that he has been in a near cationic state for at least a week. Worried about everyone that he can remember in his fragmented memories, (including Nishki, Manager, Irima, Koma, and Hide) Kaneki runs back up the sewer tunnel, praying that he can make it in time to save everyone. The sinking feeling that its already too late does not deter him, it makes him run faster.

Kaneki runs, he runs for a long time, activating his kagune without a flinch. Its only when he sees the light at the end of the tunnel that he stabs the tunnel walls with all four of his Kakuna, and flings himself forward into the light.

* * *

Only story from this point on:

A brief image of the area that he entered is all he can see before something happens. The physical room that he briefly saw is not the room that blares through his vision, a handful of memories flashing over his eyes like film from a movie reel. Kaneki lands on his side, unable to comprehend anything as reality and memories blur over into a disjointed vision. The half-ghoul cries out as both physical and phantom pain occur when his back slams into something hard. Lying there shivering in a fetal position, his hands clutch his head with eyes open wide as the memories continue to flood his mind. His eyes then squeeze shut and open at random, not seeing the physical world but the memories themselves.

_A field of red flowers covering the wide open pillared room, the taste of sweet blood on my tongue, the scent of rotting flowers mixed with flesh, a lone figure standing among the flowers with uncaring eyes that were cold as ice…._

_The number V14 on a pillar, the flower field turning into a field of corpses, despair filling my body, the lone figure not moving as pain suddenly comes from my back while I cough up blood. Then the figure vanishing from view as the vision in my left eye is suddenly gone, black…. Then a explosion of pain that feels like my brain is melting, no it IS melting, its melting melting melting, ahhhhh… Its so pretty…. this field of death…. my body is coming apart… Through the pain I attack him with all my strength, he disappears from my remaining field of vision as my clawed tail splits apart to attack from all sides… the figure says something….’You’re good, Kaneki Ken.’ A sudden sensation of nothing, from the neck down, just gone… The lance tip descending towards me, filling my vision until there is darkness, a coldness like a watery death and then nothing more…_

Kaneki slowly opens his eyes as the onslaught of memories and pain begins to ebb. His body is drenched in sweat as his mouth continues to silently speak nonsense. Then a memory appears, clearer than the fog of fragmented images and disjointed pain. Kaneki stills his moving mouth and involuntary shivers as the clear-as-a-raindrop memory plays out across his vision.

_A familiar kind face, the lips move and I hear the voice of a forgotten friend. The face… it’s speaking to me with a grin brighter than any sun or star._

_“I already knew, man! … Who cares about that, let’s just go home already.”_

_I howl in pain as my wound throbs as if set aflame, his words almost lost among my own. “Kan… Kaneki, I…”_

_A worried frown briefly appears and clouds the sun as the hand attached to its right arm rests on its cheek as it finishes the sentence. “…I …wan… to…rescu…ou!” The body of the face comes closer, and I sob as the voices in my head urge me to eat him. I try warning him, but he only says with concern for me, “…That’s a nasty wound…” The clouded face turns back to sunny understanding as the same hand that scratched his cheek clasps me on the shoulder, and the mouth says full of conviction, “Eat me.” My own lips move in reply but I fail to hear the words I speak over the hissing of the Centipede in my ears. “There’s this crazy guy beyond here. You can’t run. You will… lose there. You might even die. That’s why…” the hand moves to my other shoulder “I’m gonna show you that you’re worth saving. Worth living.” He pauses before saying softly, “Sorry. Can you fight with all you’ve got just one last time?”_

Kaneki blinks once and the memory is gone. He slowly lifts himself into a sitting position and leans against the pillar, heavily breathing as he stares at what he knows is the real ceiling. “Hide…” Kaneki sighs in pain,  as he catches his breath. Then he lowers his head to truly look at his surroundings.

His eyes widen in shock as Kaneki scrambles to his feet, unable to believe what he is seeing. It is the exact same pillar-filled room from his memories, and yet everything is different. Kaneki inhales deeply, hoping against hope to smell the scent of death or blood. The only scents that fill his nose are the smell of wet molding concrete, a faint hint of garbage, and the stench of his own sweat. Where there had been a field of flowers or corpses was replaced with normal concrete, nothing to say that Kaneki’s memories of being in the room ever truly happened in the first place.

* * *

 

It was a strange sensation Kaneki concluded, knowing a person, or to be more precise the ‘ghost’ of one, was next to him and yet not being able to sense its existence. There was no sound as the ‘ghost’ walked along, exhaled and inhaled useless air, nor was there any other indication that it existed other than Kaneki being able to see it and the very slight chill in the air around the black-haired ghost.

* * *

 

Amon was vexed at the random people stumbling in and out of sewer systems and the alleyways adjacent to the Creamy Good Coffee shop, very vexed indeed. First had been that bug-eyed muscled-fellow who was muttering something about the “endless stench of humans” and counting backwards in intervals of seven, from two thousand seven hundred and one downwards, as Amon watched him from behind the shop windows stumble into the nearby alleyway. And three days ago there had been that Dimensional traveler who apparently –if the information about his ‘past’ that he fed Amon matched with the most recent book – came from that light novel series by that author who had interviewed everyone at the shop, Takatsuki “Eto” Sen. And now, the person whose back was against the glass with the shop’s logo, riot armor stained with small splotches of blood here and there but very much alive.

 

* * *

 

Kaneki could easily smell the blood that wafted down the deserted street on the cold night breeze despite the downpour of rain, as tantalizing in scent as the smell of freshly baked bread would be to a human half-crazed with hunger.

 

He entered the kitchen area, noticing the open refrigerator door. He tilts his head towards the sound of running water coming from a closed door on the opposite side of the room, and thinks. _That must be the bathroom..._ _A killer who raids the fridge and takes a shower after committing murder?_ Kaneki shrugs with disinterest at the thought before he bends down to peer inside the fridge, hoping to find an empty spot to place the severed hand he was ‘borrowing’ from the man’s corpse.  Snap his fingers three times, out of habit.

 Snap snap snap. The sound of Kaneki’s fingers snapping apart echoes in the house just as the sound of shower water ceases from the bathroom door.

 

* * *

 

“Why are you crying?” she asks him with a puzzled frown. “Because your life, your past, was so painful, and I wasn’t there to prevent it.” He replies as his body is racked as another sob escapes him.

* * *

 

He held her, the girl who would look fully human in her appearance if it were not for the small horns on her head, which was pressed into his chest as silent sobs shake her tiny frail body. _No one should have to be living like she is…. Regardless if you’re a monster or not, this world… is one that is easily broken, and I cannot fix It alone._ _Everyone has emotions and “feelings”, but because of that, we can hurt others, and also be hurt in return_. Kaneki closes his eyes as he rests his head on top of hers, remembering a fight with a crimson tri-segmented popsicle quinque, a black haired man in a trench coat, and him, crying shamelessly for the defeated nameless investigator – Amon – to run. _Hurry up… and go… I don’t want to be a killer!_

The words are sharp and clear as the memory washes over him, like the tears that fall and stain his chest.  “I’ll carry you, okay?” he whispers to her as he opens his eyes. A stifle sob and a small nod of her head was all he received as she reaches around his neck to hold on. Kaneki picks her up and her head rests against his left shoulder; her eyes still closed as she drifts off to sleep.

* * *

 

The words from her memory pound in her head like the beating of her heart, as she stared at Kouta comforting this other girl, when he had explicitly told her _that he would attend the festival with another ‘friend’ who was a ‘boy’_. As she watched the two of them turn and walk away the words _Why… why…_ repeated in her head. She was dimly aware of something or someone pushing her from behind while whispering words of anger as her hat flew off, as if the words were being shouted from far away.

The whispered words were quickly joined with other words, no, – other voices and memories – like a convoluted conga line.

 _Kouta staring down at her with a drawing pad in hand, speaking in a harsh tone “You’re happy with your unreal emotions.” A pause, then he speaks again, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Could I feel anything close to love for a weird girl with horns?”_ The cycle of words repeat ‘ _why why’_ , like the repeated cries of a starving crow. With difficulty, Kaede voices her inner thoughts to the apparition of Kouta. “Then, why… have you been so nice to me?”

_“I agree. She is like me, a monster in that aspect alone.”_

As the memory entered her mind, the apparition of Kaneki turned into the crow-centipede monster that she had encountered earlier. It spoke with a creaky voice as if its vocal cords were being strangled with each intake of breath.

“We are both monsters, forced to survive in a world infested with hurt. Would it not be best, to remove that which hurts us and others, in order to survive in a new world? A world without hurt?” The other apparition extended a hand to Kaede, and spoke

 _There she is_ , Kaneki's ghost thought in relief as he spotted her. As he floated down to possess her and escape the onlooking crowd, something horrible happened in the next moment that reminded him of a vivid passage in one of Tatsuki’s books about a modern-day vampire serial killer.

“Imagine, if you will, that humans are walking bottles of soda. As they walk about the ‘soda’ inside gets shaken up, and fizzy. When I cut into them, and especially when I remove their hea… I mean, _corks_ , ha ha, that moment when the soda sprays upward into the air like a beautiful wine fountain, why, I cannot resist the urge to stop and sip it…”  The circle of eleven bystanders around Kaede suddenly became uncorked, not just at the place described in the book, but also halfway down from it. The ghost of Kaneki, upon witnessing this, became nauseated and dry heaved, as he was a ghost and therefore, without a stomach.


	2. Death Notes (HA!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes, Notes and MORE notes.

Kaneki will actually enter the EL universe via sewer water carrying his body towards the ocean, and slips in and out of consciousness for the duration of the trip. When the water carrying Kaneki reaches the barred opening of the sewer pipe Kaneki becomes fully conscious. He is suddenly acutely aware that there is no scent of blood, and that any physical damage to his clothes or himself has essentially vanished. This means that any evidence that the Anteiku raid even occurred other than his corrupted/fragmented memories is non-existent. Kaneki can remember visiting himself in his head, both of them fading away, and after that sinking into darkness. (chapter 140)

Kaneki enters V14 in chapter 137 on page 18.

On Chapter 138 page 16 Kaneki is first hurt by Armia, his lungs are damaged and he coughs up blood. Chapter 140 has the beginning of the Kaneki Ken talk to Kaneki Ken.

(The time period when Kaneki enters Elfen Lied is between the end of the Aogori tree Arc and after chapters 100-106, as this is when he goes a bit mental and becomes “Centipede”.

Kaneki’s Kague Description info from the Wiki:

After the organ transplant, Kaneki inherited Rize's kagune which is special because of its abnormal regenerating factor even among the Rinkaku types. Despite his body being soft and fragile, his kagune focuses on brute force to take down enemies. Since his battle with Arima Kishou, his kagune can produce up to eight tentacle claws that provide him with blades strong enough to cut or pierce a Kakuja. (non wiki : as Kaneki’s fight with Arima Kishou happens during the Antiku Tree Raid near the end of the manga, his kagune will not be as described above, unless I find evidence that makes the “eight tentacle claws” upgrade in the required time period.)

(Chapter 85 page 14-15 shows Kaneki’s 3 Rinkaku being used.)(Chapter 87, page 7 shows how far Kaneki distrusts people, as he thinks of interrogating and dismembering an Otaku who used to work alongside Yamori while revealing that he was never working for Aogiri Tree in the first place, but Kaneki is still suspicious to the extent that he thinks the above thoughts.)(Chapter 88 is set in July as Kaneki says on page 7 “It’s already July, huh-“as he is thinking about Touka just before saying this)(Chapter 89 reveals that the date is July 1st, as while studying for entrance exams for Kamii University with her human companions, Touka remembers in her mind that “today is the birthday…”)

(Chapter 91 page ten Kaneki reveals his four legged Kagune, which is located according to the picture, at the base of his spine as it is a rinkaku-type. it’s called Version 2 on the wiki picture. Chapter 100 page 5 shows Kaneki using 6 rinku claws instead of the previous 4; however the picture displaying his claws on the wiki is on chapter 106, page 1. Chapter 100 page 17 shows Kaneki’s incomplete Kakuja form, which is a centipede like tail that is attached primarily to his butt with cable-like extensions going up the sides of his back and attaching to the nape of his neck, which then form the crow-beak mask that he is wearing. On chapter 104 page 17, his ‘tail’ can split into 2 separate halves, forming something akin to a pair of giant ‘pincers’ that extends over his shoulders and can attack foes in front of him from several feet or so away. Chapter 105 page 1, Kaneki’s ‘pincers’ have split back into the original 6 rinku claws due to receiving a great amount of damage that possibly harmed the kakuga, or maybe it was due to the amount being so great that it would have reverted regardless of damage to that specific organ? On chapter 106, page 1, the wiki picture for Kaneki’s kagune version 3(3-claws both sides, 6 total), is shown to be from this page. …. On chapter 132, page 10, which is when Kaneki joins the Antiku tree battle, it shows that his rinku can change shape, as when he imitates Mr. Tuskymora’s kagune in shape with his right curve thing. Chapter 132 page 17 is the beginning of the Kaneki vs Amon fight.

(Chapter 117, page 3 shows Tsukimora and Hima talking to Nishi and Touka about Kaneki, with Tsukimora saying “Lately…he seems worried… As his bosom friend, can I not be of some kind of help? But It’s unlikely that my power alone will cheer him up.” Chapter 118 page 4- has Hide telling Touka about Kaneki’s past when she asks him “What kind of person was he?” Hide replies with a dismal “Hmm… pretty much the same as now.” The childhood past of Kaneki is shown with information on what he did. The following is that information: “During break time, or after school… if he has free time, he’ll just continue to read. Because of that, he gets bullied a lot. No matter how many times people bother him, he doesn’t fight back. He always put on a fake smile. In 5th grade, he seemed like your average shy and nerdy kid, but after his mother died, he seemed different. Since then, he seems very lonely. I also remember a shy kid like him, playing the leading role in a play once. Even though he didn’t really want to, he was a pretty good actor! (he played the role well, he was really into it) I don’t know if it’s because of this but, it’s like he’s pretending to be someone else or he’s putting on a mask. Because of that, it puts a huge burden on him.” Hide then complains about Kaneki leaving the university without notice or telling him why he left in the first place. Touka then reassures him by saying that Kaneki is probably out there reading those books of his. On page 10 chapter 118 Hide then reveals that Kaneki “has a habit. If he’s hiding something, he’ll touch his chin, just like this.” In chapter 119, Kaneki confronts the manager about the true identity of the “one-eyed owl” who tells him that the “one-eyed-owl” is his own child, as well as the fact that the manager is the “one-eyed-owl’s substitute”.

 On pages 15-16, the manager reminds Kaneki that “You are the [one person with a place in both worlds]. The [thing] that you are trying to throw away is [half] of what makes you who you are. …There’s still time for you to choose.  As you walk the line between humans and ghouls, you should give it some thought… and then some more. It would be good if you could help lonely souls. And someday… my child as well.”

IN chapter 120, Kaneki is confronted by Touka on the bridge about returning to Anteku and his personality.    Some time passes, and on chapter 124, page 15 shows Kaneki drinking coffee at a café that is not Anteku while reading a book. He over hears two investigators talking about targeting the 20th ward and that the main target is a ghoul called “owl”, which Kaneki knows is the” shop manager”. Night descends on the 20th ward, and the manager is visited by members of the organization called V, who demand the location of the manager’s child. He does not tell them, so they tell him to go die, to which the manager replies with a “I know. That’s why I’m floundering like this.” A day passes, and Touka is talking with her school friend about sticking together as friends, even after they graduate from the university, which they still have to pass the entrance exams in to enter first. That afternoon, Kaneki is visiting Yomo, who tells him that the CGC has Anteiku as a target. Kaneki is worried that the others will not make it out alive, and Yomo reports this to the manager. That night, the CGC attacks. As the attack begins, Kaneki looks on in silent horror/shock at a News Bulletin that says “The 20th ward is under a large scaling net, and has become restricted area. The target is the Café in the 20th Ward.”

Kanekei’s Personality Information from the Tokyo Ghoul Wiki on his character profile page:

Kaneki is a shy and reserved person, with [Hide](http://tokyoghoul.wikia.com/wiki/Hideyoshi_Nagachika) being his only close friend. He usually spends most of his time reading books, mostly novels. He is extremely gentle and appears to be optimistic most of the time. Influenced by his mother and a true testament of modesty, he willingly takes blame and punishment from others so that he can be someone who doesn't hurt people, but rather "the person getting hurt". However, this lack of assertiveness normally gets him bullied and taken advantage of.[[6]](http://tokyoghoul.wikia.com/wiki/Ken_Kaneki#cite_note-Tokyo_Ghoul-chapter-61--5)[[7]](http://tokyoghoul.wikia.com/wiki/Ken_Kaneki#cite_note-Tokyo_Ghoul-chapter-62--6)

However, beneath his selfless and gentle nature is an underlying fear of being alone. Ever since his mother died, Kaneki has developed his personality to resemble his mother's. He despises the idea of solitude, hence he tries to protect those dear to him so he would not have to face his fears of being alone in the world.

This is perhaps his greatest weakness and act of selfishness. Since Kaneki is always trying to protect others, he is essentially trying to protect himself from becoming alone again. Therefore to escape that scenario, he would shoulder the task of protecting other onto himself without looking for others to help him. This is also the reason why Kaneki seems to reject the notion of "living" because to him, watching others die before him is the beginning of returning to those lonely days without anyone behind him.

After he was turned into a half-ghoul, he clings to his human side. To keep his life in the human world, he began to work at Anteiku and had built relationships with the ghouls there. Because of his experiences, he had started to have interest in becoming stronger and began reading martial art books so that he could protect himself and the people close to him. He was troubled with the fact that he is a half-ghoul and is searching for a place he can belong to. If people close to him are threatened, Kaneki will try to protect them even he is the one who gets hurt the most instead.

After his time being held captive during the Aogiri arc and undergoing constant torture by the hands of Yamori, Kaneki's personality changes. He becomes more ruthless and brutal in order to protect his friends, all the while maintaining complete composure. He no longer fears his ghoul side and as a result, he becomes much more cold and barbaric during battles such as when he began eating Yamori's kagune in order to [strengthen himself](http://tokyoghoul.wikia.com/wiki/Kakuja). [[8]](http://tokyoghoul.wikia.com/wiki/Ken_Kaneki#cite_note-Tokyo_Ghoul-chapter-63--7) By embracing his ghoul nature wholeheartedly, Kaneki has given up being "human".

While still capable of showing his previous gentle nature to those he cares about, he can automatically turn merciless with a blink of an eye against his enemies or those he does not trust, such as Tsukiyama. Banjou hypothesized that Kaneki has developed some form of mental instability during his time in the 11th ward and that this would gradually wear him down.

After raiding Kanou's lab and attacking Banjou, Kaneki begins to revert back to his old personality from before the Aogiri Arc. However he enters a period of soul-searching, seeking to reclaim his human side as well as becoming uncertain about the path he has taken to become stronger. He also starts to really question and seek answers from individuals such as Uta, Yomo, and Yoshimura in order to understand the incidents that have happened around him since he turned into a ghoul.

Whenever he is near-starvation and loses control of his Kagune or kakuja, he seems to develop a personality that imitates Rize and Yamori.


End file.
